| What is Jack Sparrow's problem? The
former captain of the Black Pearl, scourge of the Seven Seas,
seems rather like a sparrow hinself at times, with his bobbing
head and fluttering hands. But birds don't wear black eyeshadow
and make goo-goo eyes at their interlocuters while tilting
their heads, and neither do pirates. And while we're on the
subject, what's with the sensuously pursed lips and the Liverpudlian
lisp? By way of explanation, Jack tells one credulous listener
that his brains fried after his crew, led by his treacherous
first mate Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), stranded him on an atoll
while they sailed off in search of a legendary cache of Aztec
gold. But that story is as open to question as everything
else Jack says, except for the part about the mutineers and
the treasure, which turned out to be cursed.
The truth: Jack Sparrow is the latest eccentric characterization
by Johnny Depp, the former teen idol who has become America's
foremost comic actor since Marlon Brando, and his role model
this time is his pal Keith Richards, the mad guitarist of
Rolling Stones, Inc. In the hands of the wonderfully talented
Mr. Depp, Sparrow somehow manages to combine Zorro's derring-do
with the uber-twee body language of his foppish alter ego,
Don Diego, and whether you buy that or not, you can't take
your eyes off the screen when he is on it. This is a big help
during the first act of Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl, which threatens to be just
a straight-ahead pirate picture, dumbed-down by hordes of
character actors cranking out lame comic relief like galley
slaves. Afterwards, when the ghastly nature of the curse that
has befallen the mutineers is made known and the special effects
kick in, one senses the star's relief at not having to carry
the rest of the picture by himself.
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Gore Verbinski,
whose contribution is anyone's guess, Pirates of the Caribbean
is the first movie based on a amusement-park ride -- one that
certainly deserves its perennial popularity with visitors
to the Walt Disney Company's flagship theme-park. If the picture
works -- and why shouldn't it? -- we may be in for more. It's
a Small World: The Movie, perhaps? Let's see: evil aliens
dunk Earth in a bath of unknown radioactivity that transforms
the inhabitants into ethnically and culturally correct cuddle-toys.
But a pair of Ken and Barbie lookalikes (voiced by Edward
Norton and Renée Zellweger) rally the doll-humans to
put their differences aside and repel the invaders. Up comes
the hauntingly familiar theme song, orchestrated for the big
screen by Danny Elfman. So much for overpopulation...
Not all the news about Pirates of the Caribbean is
good. Kiera Knightley and Orlando Bloom supply his-and-hers
eye-candy and little else as characters who fell in love as
children and haven't evolved much since. Seeing Jonathan Pryce
squandered on the role of doting dad makes one almost nostalgic
for those Lexus commercials. And the dumb gags enacted by
sundry pirates, drunks and soldiers of the Empire strip from
the venerable profession of Fool whatever laurels still clung
to it, and trample them in the mire. As the Seventh Art sails
into its second century, it sometimes appears that there is
nothing left for it to do but imitate past triumphs. If so,
the artists would be well advised to choose their models carefully,
as Mr. Depp has done, and Mr. Rush has not. After a few promising
flourishes at really playing the flamboyant Barbossa, he settles
for imitating Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, a role that
has long since turned to ashes in the mouth of the actor who
created it and is forced to keep repeating it. Mr. Rush having
no such excuse, when he shouts during the climactic duel that
he and Mr. Depp are "two immortals in a fight to the
death" one is tempted to shout back, "Make that
one immortal, Matey!" In any event, as Mr. Depp
proves again here, one immortal is sometimes enough.
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© Copyright Bill Krohn 2005. No part of this article
may be reprinted without permission of the author.
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